Biting cold brews jokes

HARARE - The cold spell being experienced in Zimbabwe has inspired several jokes for the hard-pressed Zimbos with others saying it has been brought by the many investors coming from cold countries who are investing in the country.

Memes, videos, writings as well as pictures of people suffering from the cold are making rounds, all the same making people laugh as they fight to warm their bodies.

Some people have even been blaming the president and his scarf for the cold spell with statements such as: “When (Robert) Mugabe was president we never suffered of the cold like this, it’s the ‘scarf man’ (President Emmerson Mnangagwa) who came with this.”

Another has been a notice that: “We are upgrading the sun, any inconvenience is sincerely regretted”.

And yet one joke is that of a man with a karanga accent, hiding behind a papaya (pawpaw) tree because he did not want to bath.

“Who does that, who looks for someone to bath in this weather. I will bath when I want, I will bath in August, June and July no, if they want to chase me away from their home they should, they can even call the police to come and arrest me — it’s better, what if I freeze and die in the bathroom?” the unidentified man says.

“I am not going to bath, I am not going to bath, even if they warm up the water, if they add juice or alcohol I am not going to bath.

“We should go back to our old ways, women used to bath once, I will bath on the 30th. I can’t even brush my teeth because the water is too cold, go ahead and bath together with your children, I am not going to bath, I can even sleep on the floor if you don’t want me on your bed.”

Another famous picture has been of a guy holding a beer while all covered up in blankets, the picture is captioned: “It is cold but I won’t leave my alcohol”.

And people continue to ask. “Is Zimbabwe still a country or it’s now a cooler box?”

Another making the rounds: “The way I am feeling cold, I know God is preparing me for the Diaspora where it’s cold, I receive.”

And yet another: “Guys if there is anyone with pictures of me not wearing a jersey please delete it.”

“Guys I am going to report to the police, I have been thoroughly beaten by the cold”

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