Brita has nothing to be ashamed of

HARARE - The story of former Miss Zimbabwe Brita Masalethulini made sad reading last week.

What really touched me about the whole drama where her ex Taurai Mnangagwa decided to expose dirty linen in public was how the media was quick to judge the former beauty queen.

I personally feel that Brita was being punished for saying no to a man she was no longer interested in. The teenage behaviour displayed by Mnangagwa leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

People should learn to move on nicely after a relationship has gone sour. In my view Brita’s only crime was that of seeking the protection of the law which as a Zimbabwean citizen she has every right to from a man who was physically abusing her.

I feel very let down by how people were not concerned about the abuse Brita had obviously gone through to the extent that she had to swallow her pride and approach the courts for protection.

I really applaud Brita for standing up to an abuser and putting an end to the abuse through the courts.

This whole drama about Brita opened a can of worms on how women tend to absorb a lot of abuse in bad relationships.

Many a times, women put up with things in a relationship that men would never put up with. I do not know the reason why this is so because the Bible makes me to understand that God in His infinite wisdom made both men and women equal.

But sadly, women are always the weaker partner in a relationship  and have to put up with all the abuse in the world.

African society does not do us any favours too because when a young girl is given away in marriage, they are always advised to do everything they can to preserve their marriages even at their own expense.

This notion may be taken for submission which the Bible clearly spells out but I sometimes feel that our men tend to take advantage of a woman’s submissiveness and repay the Christian gesture with abuse.

Take Brita’s story for instance, she was submissive to the father of her child but he repaid the gesture by having affairs with many other women.

But then again, reading through the media reports about the whole drama, one can see that there is more to this story than what has been reported.

I think that Brita was being modest and tried to protect the father of her child by not exposing him for what he really is but Mnangagwa on one hand decided to take the gloves off.

The sad incident also got me thinking that sometimes as women we get into relationships which we feel are ideal but  turn out differently.

One of my friends was in one such relationship and it even lasted for a good 10 years.

In retrospection, she says that what she thought was mutual love was an illusion because she was only in love with being with that particular man.

She said she had been in denial of the fact that he did not really love her and had been in her own fantasy for 10 good years.

Many women tend to make excuses for their men when they fail to live up to expectations. These women are usually in a relationship with themselves and their fantasy.

This week I would like to urge all sisters living in this make-belief world to wake up, smell the coffee and move on.

I believe with all of my heart that there is some great guy out there just waiting for a good woman like you.

Stop procrastinating; stop leading yourself on, stop setting your self up for heart ache.

It is high time women started believing in themselves and their self-worth. I am sickened to my stomach every day when I read reports on how women who fall into these traps are abused left right and centre.

Last week I was hurt by comments on how Brita was said to have had 3 children by 3 different men.

I concluded that in most cases, it is easy to judge one if you do not know their story. My philosophy has always been to try walking a mile in a person’s shoes before judging them.

But at the end of the day, I am proud of Brita for standing up to a man who is obviously well connected and saying enough is enough.

This is the attitude we need to take as women and society at large needs to look at both sides of the coin before jumping into conclusions.

So my fellow women, here is my two cents worth of advice.

Say no to abuse, do not be afraid to approach the courts to get the protection which is your right as a citizen. I know that it may have nasty repercussion as you may be judged but do it any way.

This is the only way we can as a country get rid of the cancer of physical abuse.

Most importantly do not allow yourself to be anyone’s doormat because you were fearfully and wonderfully made in God’s own image.

Comments (9)

umm how can a woman have 3 children with 3 different fathers ?and to u munnyori bible says woman submit yourself to your husbands ndipeiwo verse yakanzi man and woman are are equal.are u married miss author?i doubt that.whereas I respect woman and am not abusive ,your article leaves a lot to be desired,you are poisonous.

mapu - 3 August 2014

Women, pliz stop making a lot of noise, always complaining!! Just DONT GET MARRIED AND NOONE WILL ABUSE YOU!!!!!

kitsi - 4 August 2014

I guess the writer is only a journalist. You are not a teacher of the gospel. So please reserve that responsibility to the ones called to do so. What is special about Brita and what makes her equal to man.

Nyakuviruka Nyakuviruka - 4 August 2014

thumbs up to u author. Most women are living in hell because of fear yekunzi u cannot have many husband the bible states that vakadzi ivavi pasi pevarume venyu chaivo and it also goes on to say nemiwo varume idai vakadzi venyu. Saka thats 50/50 hapana ane simba rekuilltreater. Brita i salute u for standing up for yourself. Munhu ndewaMwari.

truth - 4 August 2014

Just don't get married and stop all this noise period. You feel you are in an abusive relationship just get out and stop all this noise. Simple as that.

munhu - 4 August 2014

Oh! c'mon ladies, Thelma please stop that crap. We as Zimbabweans, we are people bred on very strong moral values. Socially, we are guided by our culture and our traditions all of which have an emphasis on good moral values. What does the girl child and society at large learn when a woman decides to have 3 children from 3 different men?!. This is pure prostitution and you cant idolize such unacceptable lose morality. The bottom line is a woman of that character is simply a prostitute, she is a " gold digger", and a lose harlot. A woman can not show her nude body to many men, by the command of god, a woman should undress for one man ONLY & that's hers husband. Anything beyond that is pure prostitution and you cant justify such low moral behavior. Ndicho chinonzi CHIHURE!!!... period.

Zaka Jerera Gabarinocheka - 4 August 2014

whhat more do you want she is a slut how can you have 3 kids diff fathers some women are gold diggers kana urikorokoza you will find gold and also you can be trapped in same mine where you are getting the gold wise up women put God first money later

gunju - 4 August 2014

l used to admire brita but when l read her story ,l now condemn her in the strongest of possible terms 3 kids with 3 diferent fathers,what a shame.she can not be a good role model having united nations under one roof ,its next to prostituition.vamwe vanhu are other peoples classrooms of what not to do in life

evans maviva 'vanso' - 4 August 2014

The author of the article has sour grapes coz her article is grossly biased against sekuru Tari. Brita is equally culpable-how could she have a child with someone almost half her age? Is that not child abuse and molestation? I, however, feel that the duo should have resolved their problems quietly and privately rather than through the press. Isu vana Sipambi tiri madzishe saka toda kukurudzira runyararo nguva dzose

Chief Charumbira - 4 August 2014

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