When is a woman ready for marriage?

HARARE - Last week, I suggested that men should marry at 40 because at that age they are mature enough to handle the responsibilities which come with marriage.

The logic behind this proposal was based on the fact that some but not necessarily all men who marry in their 20s or 30s want to get out by the time they are 40.

Many men whom I spoke to, echoed the sentiments that marriage after a few years becomes sour.

A respected academic said this usually happens because people marry for the wrong reasons.

Some marry because they are physically attracted to their spouse but beauty in itself fades away.

This, he said, was the reason for marriage failures. The academic who is also a Christian also said there was more to marriage than feelings of love. Like I mentioned earlier on, couples need to have a whole lot more going on for them before they marry.

A man should marry a woman he can be friends with.

A friend and colleague, however, believes that men should be able to change their wives after 10 years.

Another Christian brother said it was wrong for me to suggest that men marry at 40 because the Bible clearly states that it is better to marry than burn with passion.

Having said that, today I want to discuss the flip side of the coin.

When exactly is a woman ready for marriage.

Last week, I had the rare opportunity of sitting under the feet of an anointed woman of God who spoke about the ideal woman.

Pastor Prisca Mapiwa, who is head of the Women’s ministry at Celebration Church, said the role of women is to be the help mate.

Mapiwa, who has been in ministry for 25 years, said the Bible calls women wives even before they were married.

She went on to expound on the ideal wife quoting the Proverbs 31 woman.

I have read this passage of scripture many times but have never had such a revelation.

Mapiwa taught on the 26 attributes of the virtuous woman.

I strongly believe that if women adopt these attributes, marriages may be saved.

I am, however, not saying that men should not also play their role in marriage because it takes two to tango.

Pastor Mapiwa, who was speaking during the builders conference held by AFM Belvedere assembly, said women want to be treated as Jesus treated them, with acceptance, with respect, with dignity — critical issues that women face world wide

She broke down the roles of a wife in alphabetical order as stated below.

Proverbs 31 woman

A- holy spirit filled, B- Safely trusted, C- Does Good, D- , E- Merchant sheep, F- Rises early, G- Considers a field and buys it, H- She girded her loins with strength, I- Perceives.

J- Lays her hands to the spindle, K- Extends to the needy, L- Not afraid of snow, M- Makes carpets, N- Makes tapestry, O- Makes linen, P- Strength & Dignity, Q- Wisdom & Kindness, R- Does not eat bread of idleness.

S- Praised by hubby, T- Many daughters, U- Charm is deceitful, V- beauty is passing, W- Fears the lord, X- She is praised, Y- fruit of her hands, Z- Her works praises.

The pastor also said a good wife is constantly industrious and a sharp business woman who has refined taste.

I could not agree more with the woman of God as I strongly believe that women should be economically sound even if they are married.

    Comments (7)

    Please teach love,faithfulness,sense of responsibility&mutual respect in marriages. I personally married at 22&I even love my wife more than ever before.All our 3 sons have done extremely well at university & are happily married too.One can be irresponsible even at the age of 60.

    RURAMISO RARAMAI - 28 July 2014

    The biggest problem I have with some women is that they neglect themselves once married. Start gaining weight, eat almost all the time, in bed at work in the car...munching....lose their gym mebership a week after the wedding and never to look for it again. They stop beingte person you fell in love with (physically) and become this chubby grandma in a matter of 2 years. Its frustrating. Physical attraction has to be maintained!

    Pondo nechumi - 28 July 2014

    So I am finding your article a bit curious, perhaps you could have put a hyperlink for the other article you said you wrote concerning men? Coz I'm wondering why for men readiness for marriage has to do with age but for women it has to do with biblical virtues. #JustWondering

    Taffy - 28 July 2014

    The moment you want to have responsible sexual relationship with someone you should get married why would you want to abuse other people s future partners

    madube - 28 July 2014

    Marriage is a social blessing given to humanity by God. Marriage problems therefore are caused by foundational issues - where God (or His blessing) is not part of the genesis of a marriage. The problems are exacerbated by society, especially lack of education and information by adults including parents to their children and lack of teaching and guidance by institutions including Churches. Failures produce failures - many parents are failures in marriage. God help us.

    Apostle Maxwell Msindo - 29 July 2014

    Some women easily forget their very important roles as mothers & start joining this useless gender equality mantra to fight their husbands. The majority of women in such organisations as ''WOMEN LAWYERS ASSOCIATION'' are single mothers who failed in marriages & worse still go out with married men. These single mothers have destroyed many marriages by fooling other women to fight their husbands.There is just no way a woman can be like a man anywhere in the entire world.

    KUKURIDZAI MADZIMAI. - 30 July 2014

    Both parties should be taught biblical virtues from childhood up until they are ready for marriage. Marriage need virtue from both parties. In other words one must be able to love his/her partner unconditionally thereby tolerating each other. Virtue dependent love is only derived from the word of God where among other things people get married to the right person because marriage is an institute ordained by God. Should not this be the context of one's marrying then, that marriage is destined to fail.

    BC - 5 August 2014

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