Men should marry at 40

HARARE - “It’s probably not just by chance that I am alone. It would be very hard for a man to live with me, unless he is terribly strong. And if he is stronger than I, I am the one who cannot live with him. … I am neither smart nor stupid, but I do not think I am a run-of-the-mill person.

“I have been in business without being a business-woman, I have loved without being a woman made only for love. The two men I have loved, I think, will remember me, on earth or in heaven, because men always remember a woman who caused them concern and uneasiness.

“I have done my best, in regard to people and to life, without precepts, but with a taste for justice,” the late fashion designer Coco Chanel once said.

I could not agree more with the words by the world renowned business woman whose designs are still popular 43 years after her death.

This is mainly due to the fact that Coco Chanel did not conform to the norm, especially where relationships between men and women are concerned.

For me, her words sum up why most strong willed and successful women are alone, they are either too much for a man or they cannot stand a man being better than them.

But being a successful woman is not the only reason why some sisters are single as men also play a role.
For instance, I eves dropped on a conversation where men were discussing marriage and what a prison sentence it was.

They went on to say that women were the cruellest creatures that ever walked on mother earth and that given another chance they would opt out.

As I was listening to their animated discussion with each one of them narrating their ordeal, I discovered the truth behind the words that it is relatively easy to fall in love but staying in love is another thing all together, especially for men, that is.

To borrow from a wise Rasta man, “women do not fall in love but are almost always grounded in love”. This is why most women can love one man forever.

Men on the other hand fall hopelessly in love but fall out of it as hopelessly and quickly but then again who can blame them?

A man who is in his early 40’s and has been married for the past 13 years said he had become tired of being with the same woman for such a long time.

He spoke with great admiration of his friend who is in his mid-40s and still single. The single man was said to be having the time of his life because he could have a different woman on every day of the week.

It then dawned on me that women were not the problem.

While it takes two to tango, marriages usually fail because of men’s immaturity.

Men in my opinion should never marry before the age of 40 and even when they do; it must be with someone whom they can be friends with.

The person must be the kind that will have a lot more to offer in the way of companionship or business otherwise they will be very unhappy.

This may sound harsh but the truth is that the physical side of a relationship can only last for so long…according to men at least. The truth is never easy to digest but I earnestly believe that it is the one thing that will set us all free after all the Bible says “ye shall know the truth and the truth will set us free.”

This simple truth was quiet a revelation for me even though it goes against what society says about marriages.

In African society, we are often told that; Rudo imoto munotokuchidzira ana mai (women have to go the extra mile to keep the fire burning in relationships). While this school of thought may work for some, it does not always work for everyone.

This is probably the reason why some women engage in harmful practices which have far reaching health implications to just keep the fire burning.

Sadly, it is not all about keeping the fire burning because the fire could be long gone before one tries to re-ignite it.

But then, again, there is no harm in trying. As a person who does not believe in divorce because God hates it. I would say to the married sisters … go for it!

Comments (9)

While there is some sense in this article, however, marrying at 40 would simply mean that one would retire before children complete their Schooling. The bottom line is when it comes to marriage, men are just cowards who make every excuse.

Gudo - 21 July 2014

true MAN we are just cowards. No better phrases can explain that.

mazvimbakupa - 21 July 2014

Men start dating girls at 18 & by the time they are 40 they will have spoiled so many women.Marriage for men at 40 is simply a non starter.Why not teach true love,loyalty&faithfulness in marriage? That has nothing to do with age.

CONFUSION - 21 July 2014

so i should now marry come on girls

dan - 21 July 2014

Hate them but you still run to them even if it means risking life and limp.

maita - 21 July 2014

Men cannot stand nagging, most women think nagging is love. If you check those who you eavesdrop they are married to nagging wives not to successful women.

maita - 21 July 2014

The one most important aspect people do not understand is that, for a marriage to fully function, the two strangers need to be best friends first. Pasina hushamwari its only sexual infatuation at play and as we all know, bonde rega haribatanidzi vaviri zvachose. Vaviri vapedza bonde votofuratirana. Asi shamwari neshamwari can be together for long periods even pasina bonde and still enjoy being in each other's company. Be friends first and the rest will fall in place

Darlington Gudza - 21 July 2014

writer is correct. sex means nothing and having it late or early means nothing kana usingazive rudo. At least older men know how to handle women. Tufana twunosembura.

tk - 22 July 2014

the writer is correct only that kuzvibata kusvika pa 40 ndopanonetsa. At 40 men will be mature and will not just divorce for no good reason.

taka - 22 July 2014

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