Wives can also play the cheating game

HARARE - Gone are the days when women used to cook like their mothers, run around the kitchen barefooted making sure their home ran smoothly while the men went out in search of work.

Nowadays, women work in male-dominated areas where they are chief executive officers heading big conglomerates.

Women have even dominated and made their presence felt in masculine sports such as football, boxing, basketball among others.

This has no doubt changed the power relations between men and women. The advent of the equal rights and catch phrases such as 50/50 has also changed the dynamics in relationships, a thing that does not sit well with most brothers out there.

Chances of an average man being in a relationship with a woman who makes more money than they do are very high these days.

And because of that, there is always a power struggle on who wears the pants in the relationship.

It is a man’s world after all.

This is probably why some married women have perfected the art of cheating on their spouses. But can one really blame them, right?

For years, married men have cheated on their wives but society has been very tolerant with that kind of behaviour. And in this day of equal rights, maybe the same measure of tolerance should be extended to cheating women.

After years of suffering betrayal by an unfaithful spouse, women are now hitting back at their spouses and perfected the game.

By nature, women are smart and this gives them an edge over men. They can look one in the eye and tell a lie and have their partners believe it.

Women can go to great lengths to conceal a love affair because of their in-born ability to fake it.

Women can even fake an orgasm!

It is much easier for a woman to have an affair and not be caught than it is for a man because of this ability to pretend everything is ok.

After all, when girls are married, they were told chakafukidza dzimba matenga and so this notion has been so ingrained and socialised among women that it would very well be easy for them to cheat and pretend everything is okay.

Besides, women do not become egoistic like men do, which makes it very difficult for them to be caught pants down.

But when men have an affair, it does not even take an effort to be found out. They automatically change the routine, and exhibit tell-tale traits.

The classic traits which almost every cheating man exhibits are usually coming home late, coming home with a face powder or lipstick-stained shirt, not eating at home, and sneaking into the bathroom or going outside to answer a phone call.

They also stop paying attention to their spouse.

But women on the other hand, will not neglect their spouses because of an affair but will actually pay more attention.

Maybe this is so because women by nature can multi-task.

However, I have also learnt that most married women who cheat on their husbands do it as revenge. I do not know any woman out there except one who has been scorned who goes out of her way to cheat on her husband.

I recently met a sister whose husband literally had an affair with every female he came across.

To cover up his philandering ways, the man spoilt her rotten with expensive gifts but they did not fill the void left by an absentee husband.

Whenever this husband had a new mistress, he would send his friend to his wife with goodies and long tales about him working late.

One day, the aggrieved sister decided that enough was enough and she decided to return the favour by cheating on the husband with the friend.

But the question that begs an answer is; do two wrongs make a right?

Do such people deserve to maintain this charade in the name of marriage?

When I posed these questions to the sister, she told me that were it up to her, she would gladly pack her bags and leave but society would never forgive her for abandoning her matrimonial home.

Her response was not shocking because I know many people who are still married on paper and live in the same house but live separate lives.

They opt for this way of life because they fear retribution from society and their relatives. Maybe this stems from the condition of being African which dictates that when one marries, they marry for family.

 

    Comments (14)

    I disagree with yo reasoning that women coz they have been cheated on. They mostly cheat these days coz they want better sex. They went into the marriage for security reasons & they had numerous sex encounters before then so they can compare.

    Taffy - 2 June 2014

    I'm not trying to be a chauvinist here, but I bet to differ. Men were created to dominate and a woman should be under the authority of men. Women should not be abused in their marriages but they should always listen to their husbands and be submissive to them.

    Johannes - 2 June 2014

    "By nature, women are smart and this gives them an edge over men. They can look one in the eye and tell a lie and have their partners believe it. Women can go to great lengths to conceal a love affair because of their in-born ability to fake it." To thats not smart but pathetic.

    muzimba - 2 June 2014

    No married woman of virtue can take off her pants for a man who is not her husband no matter what happens. Of course these cheating women have ever been of loose morals well before they got married. Real women hate cheating & lose their dignity, come what may. Society despises a man who neglects his family for whatever reason.

    barikai rambanai - 2 June 2014

    What a shame to think that someone is trying to justify chihure.It looks like someone here is trying to invite women to join the bandwagon

    chimuti - 2 June 2014

    Its high time we dealt with language phalacy and the instruments that perpetuate symbolic violence that keeps women under men

    sibbs - 2 June 2014

    When you wrote the first article on marriage, unlike some people who commented I thot you were ryt but now I understand why some of them didnt have any kind words, you remember one who said you must be marriage failure, I think he/she knew PERSONALLY. PATHETIC!! UHHHH

    kitsi - 2 June 2014

    Please men should respect women.They are not sex objects or machines for producing children. However,we can't justify chihure because of some irresponsible men. Women bear children & every responsible woman is happy to show off the real father of her children.

    MUSHAMUKADZI - 2 June 2014

    Editor - this pathetic and immoral journalism. why are you promoting prostitution through this article? you are coaching immoral stuff. its abuse of readers.

    WeZhira - 2 June 2014

    Indeed,pathetic journalism promoting chihure chinosemesa. However,no child would be happy to later be told that they were raised by&revered a man who is not their real father.Although the child may quietly accept reality, they won't forgive the mother for her cheating games.Surely,no well meaning wife can ever engage in this so called cheating revenge game. Dignity can never have any monetary value. Dignity can never be exchanged for immorality. Why should we insult women's moral integrity & intelligence???

    tsika mwanda - 3 June 2014

    am shocked by the writers reasoning. ppl lets follow what the WORD says. read your BIBLE for in there are answers. Nyaya yanetsa ndeyemaequal rights,they are against the WORD of GOD full stop!!!!

    tg - 3 June 2014

    one word for you, 'hure'

    honour - 3 June 2014

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