Men have lost direction

EDITOR — I am writing this letter to express my view about men in our society.

I am not too antagonistic towards them but this is what I have observed.

From time immemorial, men have been respected as the heads of the house in the society, men were called when there was danger threatening the women and children.

Men were regarded as protectors, teachers, providers and characters of authority that would bring order and discipline when bringing up children.

The house had to be in order and the community looked up to and highly-extolled a man with integrity and authority.

On the contrary now, the man’s authority is no longer felt. Households are in a mess and in total disorder. Where did we go wrong?

Instead of parents controlling children, it is the children who now control the parents. While some children are enjoying the power of controlling their parents, others are calling for fathers to come back home. Many others have become street children or were taken in by affluent people to stay at their cattle posts/farms while they are ensuring that their own children get a good education.

Men have lost their identity, stability, and social responsibility.

Some Zimbabwean men are powerless cowards and the increasing rape cases of women and minor children, gender-based violence and barbaric killings  are a manifestation of the loss of identity.

Even those you see wearing expensive clothes, driving fast cars and living in big houses have no authority.

Their cars show how fast they can kill and their big houses, without people in them, are storerooms of injustice and criminality.

They neglect their own children and lack moral authority to make better decisions to control their children’s lives. Even though the laws of this country expects children to be given guidance to help them to grow to their fullest and realise their potential, men have become ignorant of this.

Irresponsible men and women produce children left and right without considering their well-being.

Children are therefore brought up without the love of parents, live without love, attend school without love, live in a community without love, go to churches without love and live in a society without love. Everything is loveless.

Children are impressionable and repeat the behaviour of their parents? If the parents are senseless toward a child, how will a child behave sensibly to him/herself and others?

When we notice unacceptable behaviour in a child, we resort to calling a child illegitimate but in fact, there is no illegitimate child. There are illegitimate parents.

It is time men regained their identity and put their houses in order.

Let us bequeath our children a good inheritance of love, hope and faith.


Comments (4)

I also want to blame women who allow men to have illegitimate children and hide them due to threat of being victimised if they say it out ,only to come out when the man is dead. Women should be brave to come forth when the men are still alive.In a lot of cases women only go for maintenance when the man has left them or when the men is dead using birth certificates as proof of legitimacy. Given the corruption that is going on there are lots of fake marriage and birth certificates. Women should not allow men the luxury of being a Mr Goodman yet he has skeletons only to come out after death . Lets employ the shame and tell as it is lest we are used. The law should not allow these children to share in the hardwork of another women and her children.

madam - 8 April 2014

Good observation of a concern whose calls are multiple. May I highlight a few of the causes from a neutral position. First, it will be good to note that social pressures have eroded the power from men's hands. You have equal rights wrongly applied by some,.... I acknowledge all people are equal but have different functions and responsibilities. Unfortunately some have implied equal rights to mean equal roles, and many men have moved back and left things on autopilot. Secondly, some weak men, (I like to call them malefactors than men, the difference being the former can make women pregnant and the latter have the spine to be responsible for their actions), have caused many single parent families resulting in children who are devoid of authority and angry children who become abusive. These children have no man to be an example from, and they will emulate the malefactor whom they are products of. I agree men need to rise and repopulate the world, genuine men of the order of Adam and Noah, not malefactors.

Thoughtful - 8 April 2014

First and foremost do we know what we identified ourselves with, that was moral values, culture and dignity.when i was growing up i never saw my mother or father shouting at each other or let alone denigrating one another, as such a woman was identified from afar by her dressing and walking.What brought this all untold suffering in our households is these so called rights, some of them freedom of speech, of expression,of movement and so forth.These days if a man or let me say a father tries to give his children direction zvaakunzi iChild abuse, kuzoti mukadzi kungomuti with these so called women pressure groups atove kunaFourth street kuCivil court kunomhangara, zvinhu varume vanenge vave undecided nehupenyu hwemhuri dzavo vozongoti chero zvazvaita vamwe vanotopenga pfungwa chaidzo.Households are now being governed by courts and their laws.So what i am saying is kupfeka kwevakadzi, mitemo, maRights, zvinodhaka zvinotorwa nevarume nehunhu hwavanevakadzi kunyanya ndizvo zvaita kuti varume vashaye hunhu neRespect.

mashotopiyana - 11 April 2014

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