Tino goes the Pokello way

HARARE - Last week Zimbabwe saw the launch of another ‘‘burgeoning’’ young porn star, yes, our own troubled sister — Tino Katsande, a former television star and DJ.

The Zii FM DJ was in the news lately when she was beaten up by her hubby in a sorry case that ended up in the courts.

After the beating, a bruised Tino appeared in Facebook postings nursing her swollen face.

Everyone felt sorry for her and Zuze was actually troubled why men could do such a thing.

Others said she wanted to milk sympathy from gender organisations while others thought it was all a game to put her in the limelight.

Months later, Tino has gone the sister Pokello way, show the world how good you are in bed.

Show the world stuff that otherwise is meant for bedroom eyes only.

And the whole town was awash with news of the Tino porn video which seems to be on everyone’s mobile phone.

The comparisons were also coming from all corners, as sex-crazy Zimbos began to compare Tino and Pokello’s sex videos.

Many of those whom Zuze heard give comments thought the Pokello sex tape was hot, and that Tino’s was not ‘‘so sexy”.

What else did Zimbos comment on between the two sex tapes?

Zuze will not tell you!

I think for Tino, whatever explanation she might want to give to Zimbos or even her said apologies will not alter much. She has lost it.

She has lost her place on radio, really and Zuze has been thinking hard on how she can continue to be on national radio, broadcasting to the whole nation.

Chiiko nhai Tino asikana, masese here awawanza kana kuti mudzepete?

I think Tino has to try something else. Maybe enter next year’s Big Brother reality television competition!

And who is this guy in the Tino tape who hides his face?

Tino knows this guy and she can help us unmask him because from the tape he seems not have added much glamour and macho to the act!

Batai vanasikana ava vasati vapanduka vese!

Dudu: What is in your doek?

All his adult life Zuze has known and seen Dudu Manhenga as this outstanding figure in the arts, and music who always wears this big doek.

Everywhere you meet Dudu she is in her traditional doek. And they should be many of these doeks because she is changing them all the time.

But Zuze as inquisitive as he always wants to know what is in that big doek.

Dudu, Zuze is asking you; is there anything in that doek or you have for all these years been pulling wool over our faces?

There have been dreadlocked musicians in Zimbabwe known to always wear hats covering their locks, but once in a while they let that hair fall…not always, but once in a while.

Apart from her husband, who else has seen what is in your big doek?

Zuze is challenging Dudu to show us what is in that doek and I am sure the whole country would also eagerly wait in anticipation.

Or still Dudu can avail herself for an auction and see who pays the highest bid so she can take the doek off.

Zuze bets Dudu that such an auction and show will attract corporates, artistes and all.

Please sister Dudu let that cat out of the bag. Your head needs some fresh air! Tobata munhu here nhai Zuze?

ZBC staff prop Gushungo on empty stomachs

There are several incidents that Zuze really fails to naturally comprehend.

Life, this life we live is not an easy one and it can be such a pain to humanity.

To imagine that the ZBC has gone more than five months without paying its staff salaries is as inhumane as it is cruel.

But Zuze could not laugh more at ZBC staff because in the past months, which they have not been receiving their salaries, they were spending sleepless nights campaigning for Zanu PF, a result that saw the liberation party sweep into power.

But that they were doing all that propaganda with empty stomachs baffles Zuze the most.

How loyal can you be that you go for five months without food but still fight for the guy denying you food?

Zuze thinks life is pretty unfair, even staff at ZBC cannot adequately explain this to their families.

There are times the wife will not understand such excuses as ZBC is seen in the news buying new outside vans and bringing in machinery.

And all from China — pamwe varikupuhwa mahara!

 

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Comments (1)

all found on the wrong side must be arrested unless, we are saying porn is now legal in zimbabwe.dont try to justify crime by saying bedroomtape....inhema zvivanhu zvamunoti zvimaCelebrity zvakutotora advantage.BATAI VANHU MAPURISA,NDIZVO ZVIMBWASUNGATA!!!

manDon - 18 September 2013

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