In-law clashes common at courts

HARARE - “Mai Nyasha, hurry up. I am here at the courts…run I have caught them before they can proceed with their sham of a wedding…hurry…get a taxi.”

These were the words of Ambuya Mugano, Alexander Mugano’s mother after she found out that her 25-year-old son had arranged a secret wedding at the Harare magistrates court with his pregnant lover Rachel Marawo while he was already married to Mai Nyasha.

Like a scene from a Nollywood movie, Mugano raked havoc at the courts as she defended her official daughter-in-law’s dignity.

Mugano went as far as chasing her son out of the court premises and beating him after she found out that he wanted to wed his pregnant girlfriend.

She stealthily entered the courts to interject the magistrate and stop the nuptials.

In the recent past the Harare magistrates court has witnessed drama with mothers fighting on behalf and defending their daughters-in-law in public. 

Most recently a mother threw blows at her son’s girlfriend’s father for supporting his daughter’s “immorality”.

Punches were thrown before court orderlies intervened in the altercation.

The Daily News discovered that women around the courts going about their business are quite surprised at the new breed of in-laws that seemed to be emerging.

Mai Prince said while women were slowly changing their attitudes towards each other, violence did not solve much.

While she seemed to be enjoying the court drama, she thought it showed that women were now accommodating each other.

“For your mother-in-law to fight for you like this, you must be one spectacular daughter-in-law otherwise she would just leave you to make your own plan,” Mai Prince said.

Another woman Constance Muringi said it was about time women stood up for each other.

She said it was refreshing that the women were not fighting each other but the source of the ‘problem’.

“At least these in-laws did not go after the woman but the man as he is the one who is in the wrong.

The girlfriend should not suffer because the man lied to her saying he was not married only to be exposed on the day of the wedding,” Muringi said.

A woman who introduced herself as a “small house” said it was just unfortunate that the other woman had to suffer like her fellow small houses.

Speaking on condition of anonymity, another woman said sometimes the man’s mother did not have to cause such a scene in public as issues could be solved privately.

“Vamwene (mother-in-law) should not wash her son’s dirty linen in public. Imagine a scenario were the son did not listen to her and continued with the wedding!

"The mother would be totally embarrassed beyond mention and some even start threatening sons.

“However in our tradition, the whole kutandabotso issue haunts us. We do not want to suffer after our mothers die because of our disobedience, so the man ends up going back to his official wife,” she told the Daily News.

Philip Gwenzi, a man present during one of the fiascos said mothers should not fight battles that do not involve them. 

He said sometimes men look for love elsewhere because it is no longer present in the home.

“The other woman is not at fault. If these men want to marry a second woman, then let them but do not force him into a marriage that he sees is no longer fit for him. You can take the donkey to the river but you cannot force it to drink,” Gwenzi said.

Comments (2)

it is insane for a woman to believe all is well at home when his husband to be promise her a secret wedding , it is crystal clear that the second woman is but a slut, a gold digger... if all is well then why getting married without the consent and knowledge of his parents. if love no longer exists between the married , its easy divorce her and pay maintenance than kuita rudo rwekubirira uchiita tuma secret marriage and weddings.

shelz - 1 July 2013

Madness manifests itself in different forms and many men realise this too late in life.Women are also gullible like flies which follow a smelling corpse to the grave.Marriage is meant to cement ties between two families and not only two individuals and that is the reason why the newly weds are introduced into their respective families.Its tragic that most men think that the only way to fix their spouses is to wed secretly and easily forget the consequences that come with such kinds of marriages.Wake up men and smell the coffee.Let us face reality and confront our problems head on than to hide behind a finger through legitimising the illegitimate.Secret weddings stink.

Welly Mkundwa - 1 July 2013

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